


Peanut Butter Milkshakes and Awful Car Rides

by LeftHalfOfLancelot



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 11x04 Coda, ???? - Freeform, Asphyxiation, Brotherly Bonding, Car Accidents, Crack, M/M, Major Milkshake Death, Maybe - Freeform, Mentions of Honey, Milkshake Blood and Gore, Milkshakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 17:42:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5099798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftHalfOfLancelot/pseuds/LeftHalfOfLancelot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When sudden declarations of love happen suddenly.</p><p>And right turns go wrong.</p><p>To honor your sacrifice, Peanut Butter Milkshake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peanut Butter Milkshakes and Awful Car Rides

**Author's Note:**

> Crack. Just awful crack.
> 
> Don't hate me.
> 
> This can be taken as a 11x04 coda, but I haven't seen it yet, so I made it vague (spoiling self on tumblr since forever ago). Could very well be after any hunt ever where Castiel is still in the bunker.

“And, Dean, don’t forget to buy more honey,” Cas voice, tinny over the speaker, rang over the roaring wind blasting through the Impala’s broken windows. Sam squinted at that, his lips sucking on his straw suspiciously. He glanced at Dean, who was in the process of rolling his eyes until they landed on Sam and his milkshake. A glare was the only thing Dean spared him.

“I’m thinking we should buy bulk from Sam’s club or something,” Dean retorted, obviously not expecting the hum of delight that spoke layers of Castiel’s honey enthusiasm.

“Please? Pure organic, Dean.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright,” Dean reached for the phone, glaring at Sam when he didn’t relinquish it. He swiped again, barely grasping the edge before yanking it free.

“Hey,” Sam cried out, voice cracking and gurgling from the milk coating his throat.

“Sam says bye. See ya soon, bud, love you.”

Sam blinked, the duration it took for Dean to realize his transgression and hang up simultaneously.

Love you.

See ya soon.

Bud.

Love.

You.

See ya.

Love you.

Love.

You.

Love you.

Love YOU.

LOVE YOU.

Dean’s thoughts came crashing down with Sam’s snort and he whipped his head toward his brother. Sam was currently busy screaming, peanut butter milkshake coming out in rivulets from his nose, and his mouth gaping as he choked on the beverage. He had to cough and spasm forward before a sneeze dislodged most of the drink from his nose and mouth. The milkshake, saliva, mucus mix coated Baby’s dashboard and if Dean wasn’t still in shock, he’d have jumped Sam right there and finished the drink's job.

In an instant, Sam regained his bearings and pressed himself into the corner of the passenger seat. “You!” He pointed, “You said,” he emphasized with another point, “You. You said it!” he kept flailing his finger in Dean’s face, long limbs spanning the entire half of the front seat, “You said the thing. The thing, Dean! You said it!”

“Dean!” A honk and Sam’s cry alerted him to the oncoming semi and Dean swerved to dodge just barely. Missing his readjustment, Dean kept turning, already in the grass and mud before he tried to correct his course. They hit a tree hard in his panic, airbags cushioning the blow enough that they’d be alive by the end of it, or at least Dean would because Sam had a thorough strangling coming his way.

Once everything stopped spinning and Dean could move, he turned on Sam immediately, first checking if he had sustained any serious injuries and then, finding none, going for his throat. Sam sobbed into the attack, catching his milkshake’s innards splattering the tree they’d rammed into. His arm spread out to reach for the broken, bleeding plastic cup, unable to call for it as his brother wrapped around him. They staid like that, Dean’s hands around Sam’s neck and pounding his head into the leather upholstery for a good ten or so minutes, and leaving the phone to ring for a good half a minute or so before Sam heard it.

“Dean,” he rasped, hands gripping his brother’s likely sprained, already swelling wrist, though Dean made no indication that it hurt. Likely the adrenaline still pumping through his system.

“Dean,” Sam tried again, using a finger to point at the phone just below the gas petal, screaming out _Have You Ever Seen the Rain_. Dean paused in his assault, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to determine what Sam was attempting to indicate. His head swerved to where his little brother pointed, confused for a moment before he realized Castiel’s equally bewildered features lit up the phone’s entire screen. Pausing his assault, Dean dove down to retrieve it, giving Sam enough time to scamper into the door and take a deep breath in.

“Cas?”

“Dean?”

“Cas!”

“Dean…”

“Wh-what is it, bud?” Dean asked, giving Sam a sidelong glance.

“You interrupted me,” Castiel accused, and Dean could clearly tell the angel was scowling.

“I did? When? Right now?”

“No, when you hung up the phone earlier.”

“Oh? I mean. Sorry. I just, I didn’t realize what I said and I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable or if you don’t wanna—” Dean tried, though Castiel’s voice cut him off.

“Dean, be quiet. I had to pause Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D to call you back and I intend to finish this season before you return to your ‘binging’,” Castiel seemed considerably irritated, though he paused for a few seconds to listen to the lack of wind covering Dean's voice and instead heard Sam’s deep, ragged breaths, “Dean?”

“Uh, it’s nothing. We, uh, just got into a small accident.”

“You asshole!” Sam used what strength he had left to kick Dean’s thigh.

“Oh, okay, well, I’ll let you get back to the accident then,” Castiel sighed.

Dean nearly had an aneurysm trying to stop Cas from hanging up, “Wait! Wait, dude! What were you going to say?”

“Well, if you’d let me finish,”

“Oh, yeah, go ahead.”

“ _If_ you let me _finish_ I could tell you,” Castiel groused and Dean nearly died from the anticipation, “I merely wanted to say ‘Goodbye Dean, I love you too’.”

“Uuuh,” Dean gaped.

“WHAT?!” Sam shouted.

Goodbye Dean.

I love you too.

I love you.

Dean. Goodbye.

Love you too.

LOVE—

“My peanut butter milkshake! No! The world is ending! And I’m dying! And Cas loves Dean back!”

They returned home nursing more bruises than they’d received in their hunt, and Sam happily sipping his new birthday cake milkshake—he called it 'An Ode to Peanut Butter' before Dean punched him. 

Oh, and without the damn honey.

"I've got your honey right here, baby," Dean said, puckering up and reaching out for Castiel. Grumpier than usual, the angel let the door do the kissing.

"So good to me..."


End file.
